Blood and sugar
by whenthemarshmallowmettheslayer
Summary: Dead is just dead. Dick's not better or worse, he's just dead. Just like Jason. "I know what you are up to Damian," Tim tells his younger brother who then whirls around to probably snap at him. To justify what actions of his that are to come. There's no need to justify - not to him. To Barbara yes. To Bruce yes. But not Tim. He hasn't been of the - one of the bats- for years.


**A/N: I own nothing.**

 **This will not make much sense unless you watched Batman Beyond and read the comic Damian: Son of Batman.**

* * *

After the incident Leslie had told Tim that having black outs wasn't something to worry about (God how wrong had they were). When Tim blacks out that night he doesn't think anything of it because the grief was overwhelming (and still is but now guilt outweighs the grief).

Tim's husband had been "dead" for years so there's only one public funeral in the end.

Dick's.

It's at his funeral that Tim speaks for the first time in weeks while the Preacher drones on about how Dick (he actually used the Dick's real name, Richard) was in better place since he now resides in the Lord's arms.

The better place thing is a lie. Dead is just dead. Dick's not better or worse, he's just dead. Just like Jason.

"I know what you are up to Damian," Tims tells his younger brother who then whirls around to probably snap at him. To justify what actions of his that are to come. There's no need to justify - not to him. To Barbara yes. To Bruce yes.

But not Tim. He hasn't been of them - one of the bats- for years, since the incident, so he interrupts Damian before he can speak.

"I want in. I want to help you. I want revenge."

Revenge. A word for a brutal justice. A more deserving justice. The word had been foreign to his tongue when he was Robin. The word hadn't been as foreign to him when he was Red Robin but he never went through it. He had saved Captain Boomerang in the end. At the last moment. Then Tim had been tortured by Joker for weeks until he became Junior. Daddy's (the Joker's) boy. He learnt that word soon after with shaking pale hands.

Even when he had been Red Robin Tim would have sought justice with a few more blows than necessary than revenge. Trying to imprison this new Joker (The only reason he was new was because Junior had killed his father instead of Tim's. So was Dick and Jason's blood on his hands?), who'd just escape and kill more innocent people (God how could he not understand Jason & his methods until the incident?), than having this new Joker's blood on his hands.

He already has the Joker's on his (and maybe Dick & Jason's) hands so, honestly, what will having this imposter Joker's blood on his hands do to him?

Damian's glare softens at Tim's confession. They never really been close. Not like they had been with Dick and most certainly not as close as Tim had been with Jason (which just ugh, Tim needed some brain bleach after that image). But they are brothers despite how much both their younger selves had protested at it. And they do need each other because they can't get revenge for Dick & Jason alone.

"I will accept your help Tim." Tim not Drake. Or even Timothy. Just Tim. His lips twitched upwards but Tim didn't smile (because if he did he might not be able to stop). "I fear I will need all the help I can get with Barbara being newly promoted as Commissioner of the GCPD and father being unwilling to bend his moral even for Jason and Richard's murders."

They would have sat in silence for a few minutes if the Preacher wasn't still droning on before Tim finally speaks.

"Barbara and you are both wrong you know. They're deaths aren't your fault Damian." Damian opened his mouth to protest that he could have done something to save their lives but Tim interrupted him, again, before he could even speak.

"It isn't Damian. If there was I would be blaming you just like Barbara is. There was nothing you could have done but there is something we can do and that's get revenge. So stop blaming yourself and help me." Damian shuts his mouth and doesn't say anything back to Tim. He would help Tim but he wouldn't, stupidly, stop blaming himself for their deaths.

Tim had been down that road so many times all he could do is be there when Damian did finally break down.

*  
A week after Dick's funeral Damian leaves to visit his mother and Ra's. They wouldn't help him but even if Tim had told him that Damian being Damian (and the son of the most stubborn men in the world) would have ignored him and gone anyway. So instead of telling him Tim stayed up every night out in the Wayne family graveyard hoping for a miracle that never comes. As they say, lightning never strikes twice.

During Damian's absence Tim eats only because Alfred forces him to. Plays with Ace and Alfred who are Damian's pets (Ace was a rescue and Alfred, the cat, was given to Damian by Alfred, the butler, as a gift) while he wonders of what new name, new mask he'll take.

In the end it isn't new. Tim takes on the Red Hood suit and mask after some modifications. After returning from patrol (the first in years) Tim crawls into his empty bed that still cold even with Jason not being there to hog the covers and tells himself that he is honoring Jason instead of following Daddy's footsteps.

He's Tim Drake not Junior. Tim's father was Jake Drake who often left Tim behind in house that would have been empty if not for the housekeeper, Mrs. Mac, because he hadn't emerged in this world full grown like Athena had Zeus' head. Tim's other dad, the one who adopted him and eventually abandoned him too like he was some sort of broken toy - no a broken Robin, was Bruce Wayne.

While Tim had fathers Junior had just one. The Joker had never abandoned Junior because Junior killed him before he could - no that was wrong. Tim had killed Junior's father before he could kill Tim's father just like he had killed Jason.

*  
Damian comes back a few days later and unsurprisingly his family refused to help. What is surprising is the ally they get a few weeks after Damian's return. Steph returns to Gotham from England. She, unlike Barbara, doesn't blame Damian for Dick and Jason's deaths. It's nice to have someone around who isn't dark in personality like he and Damian are. Steph isn't pure light though. No. She's a fire (just like Jason)with multiple shades of color that, of course, burns brighter in the dark.

It doesn't take long for after Steph's arrival for Tim to notice how Damian acts around her. (Oh my Alfred had been his thought after that realization.) It had finally happened. Damian was attracted to someone - Steph.

If Tim was like his younger self he would have raved on how of course the demon brat was interested in his ex-girlfriend. He isn't though (he actually is happy for them) so he keeps silent and counts down the days it takes for the two idiots to realize what's right in front of them. (Was this how Dick felt before Tim and Jason had gotten together?)

Tim won't confess that it does hurt some. Not because Steph and him use to date but of how much she is like Jason. Tim gets over it though (he always does, because he is a good soldier) because he use to hurting and the day when he hurts no longer will be the day he is dead.

He won't be better (because he's no longer hurting) or worse (because he no longer knows how to live without pain), he'll be just dead (and hopefully with Jason).

*  
The fake Joker doesn't pop up like the Joker would have by now. Life goes on (it always does). The big time criminals all claim they killed Batman as well as the original Red Hood (Jason wasn't the original Red Hood. He was the second. The Joker had been the original Red Hood.)

Neither Damian, Steph, or him buy into it (that fish had the Joker's smile) that however didn't stop Damian and him from killing the worst of those who claim they had killed the Batman. (While Steph doesn't kill she doesn't kill she never fights them about it. Unlike he had all those years ago when Steph had wanted to leave that goon to die buried in the snow.)

Damian is still Robin. The only change he makes is he carries his sword with him every night on patrol. Steph takes on the mantle of Nightwing. The only changes she makes to the suit (besides adjusting it to fit her body) is change the blue into eggplant purple.

Eggplant purple is the only purple is the only shade of purple Tim can deal with since the incident. After the incident everything that had the color purple on it was removed from his sights (along with mirrors and pictures of smiling people) because Tim's reactions to it. Sometimes he tried to scratch the color out not noting the blood coming from nails or he would get sick and throw up whatever was on his stomach.

Tim believes the reason why eggplant purple doesn't affect him is because that has always been the shade of color he has always associated Steph with and not even the Joker and weeks of torture can take that away.

*  
Tim wakes up injured and with a talking cat in his face. Did he mention it was talking? Ever since the incident Tim hasn't considered himself fully sane but this a new low (maybe he's still asleep).

"While I am glad you have finally woken up you must wake up Master Damian as well sire," Alfred, Damian's cat, tells him in the same accent as his namesake. And Tim-

Tim wants to hit (preferably his head) something. He can not crack now. Jason and Dick murderer was still out there. He hasn't payed yet.

Suddenly Alfred, the cat, jerks its head over to where Damian is resting. He's injured just like Tim. Alfred, the cat, jumps off without a word and onto an awakening Damian. Tim lifts his head and watches their interactions to see if Damian can hear his pet talking. Tim pinches himself as Damian asks how Alfred sounds like Pennyworth.

He's awake but hey least Damian can hear the talking cat too. Damian turns his head to look at Tim.

"Tim are you hearing my cat speak too?" Damian asks him.

And Tim -

He laughs. It's been so long since he's laughed a genuine laugh. It's nice. After calming down (which takes several minutes and a unamused glare from Damian) Tim's gives Damian his answer.

"I think you can ask your girlfriend that once she gets back from visiting Cass."

"Come on Masters Damian and Tim. Pyg's henchman are at it again."

*  
Neither them notice that Alfred is dead. They're too focused on the talking cat and suiting up to notice the old butler's body slumped on the table or the pieces of a broken tea cup.

*  
Alfred funeral is just the three of them. Dick and Jason are dead. Bruce hasn't woke up from  
his coma that he went into after his fight with Damian. Barbara doesn't attend because she still hates Damian.

*  
Tim, oddly enough, was perfectly fine with Damian killing villains as Robin (maybe because blood already stained the costume). He, however, was not okay with Damian having killed as Batman even if it was the bastard that murdered Dick and Jason.

"Drake I thought you agreed that Richard and Jason's murder deserved to die," Damian spat out at him.

Drake. Tim doesn't wince at the name change because he was expecting it. Whenever Damian gets angry (real anger not just annoyance) he reverts to old habits. Like Drake instead of Tim.

"I did. I'm glad you killed the Joker it needed to be done. I however do have a problem with you doing so as Batman." Tim stated calmly. Steph's in Japan visiting Cass so there's no one to mediate between them since Alfred, the cat, isn't here (which Steph can hear him talking).

So Tim has to be calm even if he's itching to smack Damian upside the head to see if his younger brother's light bulb flickers on. "You freely chose to be Batman and I'm glad you did. Someone needed to become him. Gotham needs Batman but Batman doesn't kill Damian. So you cannot kill as Batman." It's funny that those two things (along with Batman needs a Robin) Tim is absolute certain of unlike many other things in his life.

*  
It was decided years ago after the katana incident Tim would handle WE work but there's only so much WE work Tim can do at the Manor. (His skin, despite the years that have passed, is still bleached looking and his hair is a dark green now instead of bright ugly green it originally was. At least his smiles aren't force, too wide, or bloody red like they were once upon a time.) Soon despite Tim's best efforts Wayne Enterprise becomes Wayne- Powers Enterprise.

Tim can't stand Derek Powers. There's something about his smile along with the fact he is trying to takeover more of Wayne-Powers Enterprise that makes Tim not mind a katana incident take two just instead of the board members of WE being there Tim wishes Derek Powers to be the receiving end of Damian's sword.)

*  
Turns out Steph can't have kids anymore after the torture she went through under Black Mask hands. If Selina hadn't killed the sadist years ago Tim would be hunting him down now to kill him.

Damian awkwardly comforts a heart broken Steph about it. He's grown so much from the brat that tried killing him- not once but several times. Dick, while not proud of that Damian had avenged him, would be proud of how much he's grown in character. Tim is too.

*  
Damian somehow manages to look peacefully sleeping on Steph's shoulder as they share the loveseat on family movie night that Dick started and Steph reinitiated. Tim's sprawled out across on the couch watching Elsa build a ice castle (it was Steph's turn) before asking the question that has been bugging him since the copycat Joker had been killed. Since Dick and Jason's murderer had died. (For some reason that feels just wrong in Tim's gut.)

"What do I do now?" Steph turns her head to face him after hearing his question.

"What you do is wake up. Eat the waffles I make you and deal with WE work. Combat Damian's snark with your own snark and watch Disney & Harry Potter movies with me. Patrol as Red Hood." She pauses to breathe. "You live Tim. The hardest part of life is living in it. And you are going to live in it because you are not leaving me alone with my boyfriend and his talking cat that doesn't like being called Luna."

Tim actually gives a small smile at her speech. "Thank you for your Buffy wisdom," he says teasingly.

"You know I'm actually need to choose that to watch next time it's my turn. Damian hasn't ever watched it and to believe he comes such a respectable family," Steph says teasing back. Tim smiles again (it's rare for him to smile twice nowadays) at that before going back to watching the movie.

*  
"Dick wouldn't have wanted this." Tim loves how Barbara doesn't bring up Jason who they all know would have wanted to avenged. While this is Dick's first death it isn't Jason. Jason who had came back so angry for not being avenged. If Jason did come back he would been avenged this time (Tim's never been one to make a mistake twice if he can help it).

"No he wouldn't have but he's not here." Barbara looks so old. Was it the grief of losing Dick? Was it the job of being the Commissioner of Gotham? Probably both.

"Why did you call me here Barbara?" She isn't the only one who old in this room. Tim might not look it but he's feels old. So tired, wasted, and broken.

Barbara glances up from her cup of coffee. "My boyfriend bought a ring." Suddenly the tightness in Tim's body is released. They're no longer arguing over morals and their loved ones but about moving on. On should they move on.

Dick could have been the one for Barbara but they grew apart. Barbara moved on (some wanna be district attorney) then Dick died on her. She called him here because he was the only one who understood. While Damian had lost a brother, a mentor, his role model in that expulsion Barbara had lost the man that onced owned her heart. While Tim had lost his husband. The only person who came closest to understanding what Tim had went through.

Tim finds it hard to shallow. His mouth had decided to suddenly become dry on him. Why had he declined a cup coffee? Oh yeah that's right police coffee sucked.

"I think they would have wanted us to happy. If he makes you happy then you shouldn't say no. Honestly I don't think I'll ever find someone who understood me and made me as happy as Jason did. So if you have found one that does that to you, you shouldn't hold back." Soon after (once they finished talking about the wanna gang of Joker fans calling themselves the Jokerz) Tim exits Barbara's office to have his eyes fall on a familiar face.

In a corner of the Police department there's a boy just sitting there instead of reading the kids books kept there or playing with the toy police car. His legs carry him over to the boy before Tim even makes the conscience decision.

"Hey what's your name?" Tim's never been good at a coaxing voice but he does try for the kid whose eyes are red from tears. Suddenly his mind flashes back to how Damian had looked when he had came down to dinner after learning of Bruce's "death" by Darkside. The boy in front of him looks just like Damian had all those years ago just without Damian's natural tanned skin.

"Terry. Terry McGinnis."


End file.
